On thanksgiving day, we tried tilapia and baked potato instead of the usual turkey and mashed potatoes. We weren't having thanksgiving until Saturday, so we wanted to do something different. I barely put away a 1/4 of the filet and about a spoonful of potatoes and I was full. About a 1/3 to a 1/2 cup of food filled me up at this time. It's such a weird feeling seeing only a little bit of food on my plate. Knowing that the little bit I had, was going to fill me up. It's something you have to deal with mentally, still am to this day.
On Saturday, we went to my inlaws house for thanksgiving. This was a true test for me. This was the first time eating in front of anyone since the surgery. Add on the fact that I just started eating real food a week ago, to me it was stressful. Why stressful? Well, one you're with the inlaws. Haha just kidding. For real, I was worried about everyone watching me eat. Not that it's that interesting to watch me, but I just had a surgery that changes everything about how I ate. Draw your own conclusions as to why I thought that. Oh is he going to puke after the first bite? is one bite gonna fill him up? is he eating too much? should he be eating that? I can go on forever, but you get my point. I'm obviously am not the most confident guy in the world, but stuff like that bugs me out. I also know that it's not uncommon to have this feeling. So it's not just me. It truly does help to have a support group of people who have gone through the same thing your going through. Oh and I already know what your thinking, Jodi, so stop shaking your head. ;) If no one was thinking any of that, well good, but I sure as hell was. How embarrassing to throw up in front of everyone? That can cause a little worry in someone. Oh, was the food not good? Did you not chew? Shit, is he dying?? Oh god my floor!! You know, the usual. Well, all of my worries didn't come true. I took a little bit of mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing and turkey. Took my time with it and surprisingly, it all went down good! I actually went back up for seconds! Well, mind you, my seconds added up to most people's mouthfuls. That's the thing with hot foods. It takes what seems like forever to eat that once you get close to finishing, your food is cold. So I've learned to take a little bit at a time now. All in all, my first thanksgiving post surgery went very well and the food was great, the company was great, everything seemed to go pretty well.
I'll leave you with this. Eating real foods since the surgery three months ago has been a challenge, good and bad. It sounds dumb, but you never realize how much your life revolves around food. Everyday you wake up and wonder what you're going to have for breakfast. What you're going to have for lunch. What you're going to have for dinner. That doesn't include snacks and drinks. We all seem to think about it all the time. At least most do. Is that how life is suppose to be? I get it, you need food to survive, but it seems like the subject of food always makes it in our daily conversations. I guess that's just how it is. No real deep thoughts here, just amazed about how food is such an important part of our lives, not just for the obvious reasons either. I never realized it until I had the surgery, that this was so true. Especially when you can't eat the way you were use to eating all of your life. Trying to make your eyes adjust, your brain adjust, to the new concept of eating has been quite a struggle. It seems like it will be a never ending battle, but one I intend on winning!
I hope people are enjoying this blog. If you have anything you ever want to ask, ask it! You can email me at deline199@yahoo.com. Hit me up on twitter at twitter.com/biggiedeline be warned, anything goes on twitter. And find me on Facebook, which most of you have done. I have a pic attached to this blog that showed what I looked like 2 months ago compared to today. It's not much, but there is some differences. Oh and no, those aren't boxer shorts I'm wearing. :) Thanks again for reading!
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